Beating the Black Friday Sales

It’s that time of year again.

Your inbox is screaming.
Your phone is buzzing.
Every second ad is “SALE ENDS IN 5 MINUTES” or “YOU’LL NEVER SEE THIS PRICE AGAIN”.

Welcome to Black Friday through to Cyber Monday – the financial Olympics of the year.

And let’s be honest up front: I’m not here to tell you to sit on your hands and not buy a thing. I’m not your mum and you’re not a teenager with your first debit card. You’re a grown woman. You know what you like. You know what you need. And yes, these sales can be sensational.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday are basically my Christmas for:

• tech I’ve been eyeing off

• home stuff I’d be buying anyway

• my annual “this doona cover makes me happy” purchase

The goal isn’t to avoid shopping.
The goal is to avoid waking up in mid-December with a financial hangover and a string of “How did that even get into my cart?” moments.

This is about our money, our choices and our power – and understanding the psychology behind these sales so we can use them, not be used by them.

Why Black Friday Messes With Your Head (And It’s Not Because You’re Bad With Money)

Black Friday isn’t an accident. It’s engineered. It hits four big psychological levers, all at once.

First, scarcity.
“Only 3 left.”
“Offer ends at midnight.”
Our brains are wired to fear missing out more than we enjoy saving. Scarcity makes us move quickly. It’s brilliant marketing and terrible for calm decision-making.

Second, identity buying.
We don’t just buy products. We buy stories about ourselves.

The version of you who is finally organised.
The version of you who runs at 6am.
The version of you who bakes sourdough in linen on Sundays.

The problem is, identity purchases are the ones that most often end up:

• unused

• resold on Marketplace

• or quietly shoved to the back of the cupboard with a side of guilt

Third, conditioning.
Here in Australia, we’ve been trained to “wait for the sale”. A friend in retail said to me recently, “You basically can’t sell at full price anymore – people expect a discount.” That conditioning runs deep, especially for women who grew up with parents and grandparents who had to stretch every dollar.

So when the sales hit, your inner “good girl with money” wakes up and says, “Now. Now is when smart women buy.”

And finally, emotions.
By late November, most of us are tired, fried and slightly over everything. That’s when “treat yourself” spending creeps in. We tell ourselves, “I’ll just grab a few things and feel better,” but what we’re really doing is medicating stress with parcels.

None of this means you’re irresponsible or “bad with money”. It means the system is designed to push your buttons. Once you understand that, you stop taking it personally – and you can start making intentional choices.

Let’s Be Real: You’re Going To Shop

You are going to:

• open the emails

• scroll the sales

• compare prices

• consider a few “I’ve been thinking about this all year” purchases

So let’s drop the fantasy that a “good” financial grown-up never looks at Black Friday.

You’re going to shop.

The work is to shop like a woman who knows her numbers and respects her future self.

Step One: The Want List (And The “Not Today” Pile)

Before the sales really kick in, make a Want List.

Not a vision board.
Not a wish list that requires a lottery win.
A clear, grounded list of things you’ve genuinely been considering for a while.

It might include:

• headphones because yours are dying

• a tablet you’ve researched and know you’ll use

• a new set of pans because the current ones are ten years old

The key is that these things have existed in your mind for more than eight minutes.

Then there’s the “Not Today” pile.

That includes:

• random TikTok finds

• “might be useful one day” gadgets

• clothes you think you might wear next season if your entire personality changes

• anything you only want because it’s on sale

If it appears in your brain for the first time during the sale, it belongs in the Not Today pile.

Step Two: Use The System To Your Advantage

There are a few real, practical moves that make the difference between “I did well” and “what was I thinking”.

Sign up for early access.
Most bigger brands give VIPs or email subscribers early codes. That means you’re not making decisions in the last two hours of a flash sale while half-asleep and overstimulated. You can look at prices, compare, and choose.

Do an actual price comparison.
Look at:

• the original price

• what it’s sold for previously

• what competitors are charging

• delivery fees

• the returns policy

It’s not uncommon for prices to quietly creep up before Black Friday, only to be “slashed” back to close to normal. You want genuine value, not theatre.

Set your “buy price”.
Before the sale starts, decide what counts as a good deal for you.

“If that Dyson drops below $499, I’m buying.”
“If that Apple Watch hits $350, I’m in.”

Now you’re making a decision based on your numbers, not their countdown timer.

And my favourite: sleep on the cart.
What feels urgent at 11.47pm often looks unhinged at 8am.

If it’s a real need and a real bargain, it will still look sensible in the morning. If it doesn’t, you’ve just saved yourself money, mental load and storage space.

Step Three: Watch For The Spiral

It’s not just about how much you spend – it’s how you feel while you’re doing it.

You know you’re in the spiral when you start:

• adding “just one more thing” to get free shipping

• buying duplicates “just in case”

• panic-buying Christmas gifts with no plan

• justifying things that don’t really make sense when you say them out loud

That’s not excitement. That’s anxiety in a party dress.

When you feel the spiral, pause.

Close the tab. Put the phone down. Walk outside. Your nervous system doesn’t care how good the discount is – it cares that you feel pressed and rushed.

A very unsexy but powerful rule is this: decide your total spend before you start. If you’re buying gifts, set a number. If you’re buying for the house, set a number. When you’re at the edge of that number, you’re done.

That’s not restriction. That’s self-respect.

What Future You Actually Uses

One of the simplest filters is this:

Will I use this weekly?

Weekly use usually equals value.
Monthly might be okay.
Once a year? That’s clutter.
“Never” is regret.

Clothes are a big one here. Buying for this season, for your actual life and body, is one thing. Buying for “next season” or “when I magically become a person who wears heels every day” rarely ends well.

Ask yourself: am I buying for my real life, or for a fantasy version of myself?

Your bank account cares about the real one.

Small Business, Big Heart

There’s another layer to this: where your money goes.

Big retailers can afford to play the discount game. They have scale, volume and very deep pockets.

Small businesses do not.
They don’t have 70 per cent margins to slash.
They can’t quietly raise prices and then “drop” them.
They are often one person, maybe a tiny team, trying to juggle stock, wages, rent and their own energy.

Many of those small businesses are owned by women our age.

So when you’re making your plans, put them in there.

Teacher gifts.
Kris Kringles.
Self-care treats you buy regularly anyway.
The candle brand you love.
The skincare that actually works on your skin.

This isn’t about guilt or “never buying from big brands”. It’s about being conscious that your money is a vote. You get to choose who you back.

A Word On Afterpay Hangovers

Buy now, pay later can be a tool. It can also quietly turn into a mess.

One payment of $23.75 feels harmless.
Eleven of them, staggered across the month, do not.

If you’re using Afterpay or similar during Black Friday, set rules for yourself:

• one significant purchase, not ten small ones

• know exactly when the repayments come out

• cap the total amount you’re comfortable owing

Most of the debt spirals I see from this time of year don’t feel like massive, reckless decisions. They feel like drift. Little yeses that add up to a big “how did this happen?”

Your goal is to decide those yeses on purpose.

When Black Friday Actually Works

When we bought the beach house down at Apollo Bay, I did almost all the setup shopping across Black Friday, Cyber Monday and the Boxing Day sales.

Plates, cups, pots, pans, knives – all the boring but essential things. I saved hundreds on quality items we needed and would use constantly.

That’s the point where these sales become powerful: when you’re using them as leverage to buy what you already intended to buy, at a better price.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday can absolutely be smart money moves. They can also be chaos. The difference is whether you’re steering or being dragged.

This Isn’t About Being “Good” – It’s About Being Aligned

At the end of the day, this weekend is not about what’s cheap.

It’s about what’s aligned.

Aligned with your values.
Aligned with your goals.
Aligned with the woman you are now and the woman you’re becoming.

When you shop intentionally, you’re not just buying things. You’re building self-trust. You’re proving to yourself that you can be around sales, noise, urgency and marketing – and still make decisions that feel good in your body and your bank account.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday aren’t the villains. Unconscious spending is.

So go in with a Want List.
Know your buy prices.
Sign up for the codes.
Check the real numbers.
Support the businesses you believe in.
Say no when you mean no.

And if you want more support with this kind of thing – money, choices, strategy, all wrapped up in something that actually feels human – I’m moving all the Happy Money Journey courses into a membership so you can follow your own path and get ongoing guidance, not just one-and-done content.

There’s a link in the show notes if you’d like to check it out.

In the meantime, shop well, shop smart, and as always – enjoy your journey.